Too many moons have passed since my last post. I remember the day that I had intended to post another entry, and had looked at everything surrounding me...the plants, the trees, the very sky. I said to myself, "something is off." Mother Earth was warning me of some impending doom. No sooner had I noticed the offness of that which surrounded me, than I walked into my house, turned on the television (actually, the last month that I actually HAD television service...a hard habit to break, but cannot say that I miss it much) when there was breaking emergency notification what was initially thought to be a bomb in San Mateo. Turns out to be a ruptured gas line which killed about 23 folks in their own homes. A tragedy. A travesty. The gas/electric greed machine culpable for yet one more unattended but not unknown failure of their grid...only to choose the almighty dollar over safety. More tragically, I am convicted that those whose decision it was to do nothing about a weakened pipe system, sleep well, their only consternation (I surmise) being whether they face public rebuke and possibly personal monetary damages or firing. How many trapped animals were incinerated? Ah...too sad to ponder at present.
I have much to say. Life is wonderful. Life is crap. There's my sense of balance in a nutshell. Dickens was more eloquent with his, "worst of times, best of times," but I was not eloquent this night.
I am being brief this eve. I have to move. Challenges abound. My landlady is as she always has been--only now she has again with the total lack of grace that characterizes her every move and reminds me of my ex-husband, has decided to wield her power over me to put me in my place. Put in my place am I! I have experimented with theta mind waves, and this seemed an appropriate time to engage in some heavy-duty commanding of self-destiny. I'll expound in subsequent posts--but the highlights here put down will serve to remind me of the salient points. I find this exercise for various reasons muich easier to do while driving...epecially whilst in Augie (my little truck). I consciously expanded my thoughts in order to accommodate the space necessary for allowing in both creativity and material manifestation. Suddenly, as if struck by one of the rampant solar flares, I had a vision of my heart opening as if a flap on an advent calendar, while immediately, I either saw, imagined, felt or all three--but at any rate--perceived, that a thunderclap of the most brilliant white light was attracted not unlike a magnet to the refrigerator door, to the space just created. That whiteness was pure love, and was accompanied by joy, calm and ease. I thought to myself that this was breathtaking, and made me greedy for an encore. I knew that I'd have to settle for repeatedly rememering the sensation...yes, it was a sensation. I knew instantly that I had made the call in such a fasion that had allowed for, made space, for that call to be answered, and without hesitation, by those beings to whom we beckon, who render immeiate aid if only we'll call upon them in order to assist us, we in our feeble human form (but truly simply disguised perfect rays of light and love ourselves). They are my major arsenal of weapons as I traverse this unsettled and daunting journey in my human-ness. I had epiphanies, immediate and perfect to the point that natural human self-doubt was easily dismissed as useless background noise. The beings that I refer to in my head as the folders of the space/time continuum had made me assured that the answers which rush in alongside the white light were correct and sure to be sound. They were not wrong.
I am being crypic, but not intentionally. I wanted to get some of this down to remind myself of what it was that I needed to get put down...when I have only 10 million fewer things to do than at present.
The moon is full this night. Thursday is traditionally associated with the color green. Not engaging in it often, I decided to buy two lotto tickets. I've heard some quips which have struck in my mind of late: "EXPECT (my emphasis) a miracle;" and "Let your light shine." There've been others--but these hae been the most impactful.
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